What If I Give All - Ray Boltz

THE PRINCESSES OF NANCHANG

June 25-26, 2009

Following our three nights in FuZhou/LinChuan District where our daughter Hannah got to see her hometown and her foster family, we drove about two hours to the capital of JaingXi Province, the city of NanChang. I have to admit that NanChang is sort of a blur to me as I was really quite sick for the two days were spent there. No one else in our travel party got sick, so I am wondering whether it really was something I ate, or a virus I came into contact with.

Anyway, I definitely remember that we checked into our hotel, and then asked Cody to take us to the nearest McDonalds. If we thought the KFC in FuZhou was good, we were absolutely in heaven by the time we got to the McDonalds in NanChang. We all enjoyed our favorite, and even our normally vegetarian daughter Hannah ate a McD's fish sandwich with fries.

The McDonald's was located near a lot of shops, so we went shopping for a few gifts after dinner, then headed back to the hotel. The hotel was absolutely wonderful...truly a five star establishment. Everyone from the desk clerks to the valet parking attendants were professional, courteous, and friendly, in addition to being able to speak English!

This is the TengWang Pavillion in NanChang

On the morning of June 26th we visited the TengWang Pavillion (or pagoda, depending upon which guide book you read). This was our third time visiting the TengWang, and we enjoyed seeing the familiar sights, as well as buying more "stuff" from the many booths inside the building.

By far the high point of our visit was when Perrie and Hannah dressed up in authentic Chinese period costumes and had their pictures taken. In one picture they are wearing the type of clothes that an Empress might have worn, and in the other picture they are each dressed in the lovely gown of a young princess. Their favorite was the princess costume....of course, a princess costume for my two princess daughters.

That afternoon while I rested, Coby took Paul and the girls shopping, and of course the kids came back with more beautiful dresses. I have been told that the area in which they went shopping was almost as nice the area in ShangHai called NanJing Road where we also went shopping at the start of our journey.

That night Coby went above and beyond his duties as guide...because both Paul and I were so tired and overcome by the heat and humidity, he took our daughters to dinner, followed by watching a dancing fountain program ala Las Vegas, with plenty of colorful lights and dancing waters set to music. Thank you Coby for that night of rest.....you are THE BEST!~!!!

A TRIP TO LINCHUAN HIGH SCHOOL

June 22, 2009

Statue of an important scholar from Linchuan in JiangXi Province on the grounds of the new high school

I did not mention the trip we took on June 22nd to visit a high school in JiangXi Province. Early in the morning, prior to visiting the FuZhou Social Welfare Institute, we were fortunate to visit a brand new private high school in the LinChuan District.

At our hotel in LinChuan we met the family staying in the rooms next to ours. They are from the Cincinnati area, and the man is a Chinese citizen who has lived and worked in the US for the past 15 years. In fact his two children, who were with him on this trip, were born in the US and thus are citizens of both the US and China. This gentleman works for GE Aviation, and he was born and raised in JiangXi Province. He explained that JiangXi Province used to be home to a great many shoe and clothing manufacturers, but it is more profitable now to make those same shoes and clothes overseas in India, SriLanka, and Indonesia....................does that sound familiar? Many former factories are now standing empty, unemployment is high, and there is a great need to prepare the local youth for more promising careers. To that end, a private high school serving about 10,000 students has opened. It is not at capacity yet, and we were invited to take a look at the campus. The head of the new high school is a former college friend of the man who now lives near Cincinnati (I am not using his name because I did not get a chance to ask him if he wants to be mentioned in my blog). Our new friend from Cincinnati plans to form a charitable organization to raise funds for the school as his way of giving back to his home town.

Our guide Coby had all of us pile in the van and we drove to what turned out to be a huge campus. There we met the school director who gave us a tour of everything from classrooms to cafeteria. The school is not free, although scholarships can be obtained for those in need who show a desire to learn. Classes average about 100 students....yes, you read that right.........100 students per classroom. We walked past some classes that were in session in the 100+ degree heat and humidity.............guess what? No air-conditioning. Students sat two per small desk. All students had a pile of books in front of them that must have been close to eighteen inches high. A few students used their book stacks as "pillows" and were napping quite soundly through class. Others were taking notes. Some were whispering to their neighbor. Not much "active participation" in the lesson was evident. In other words, a typical high school.

We walked into a huge round atrium off of which there were about five floors, each floor containing uncounted classrooms. We were shown the computer lab, which was not operational yet, but would be ready for the fall class of students. School was on summer vacation, though there were a few summer school classes in progress (such as the one I mentioned in the previous paragraph).

The cafeteria was set up like a buffet line, with at least a dozen healthy choices available for a reasonable fee. Imagine the size of a cafeteria that serves 10,000 students on a daily basis, and you get an idea of how large a space this involved and all the tables that were set up. As this is a boarding school, three meals a day are offered for a fee. Not all students live in the dormitories, some are day students. But many of the kids come from the sourrounding countryside and live in the dormitories out of necessity. Tuition is not cheap, and the parents of these kids kids sacrifice everything so their kids can get a good education and have a shot at the Chinese dream of a good job with good pay.

The highlight of our visit was meeting the English teachers. English is China's second language, indeed it is the international language, we were told by our guide. The teachers looked so young!!!! Of course when you get to a certain age, EVERYONE looks so young. We had great fun speaking with these young teachers, and I was telling them about Arizona, and how we are required to have a Structured English Immersion (SEI) endorsement. At first they did not understand why I needed to know how to teach English in America....but I explained that many of our students come from Spanish-speaking homes. The method for teaching English in China is to practice writing words, saying words, conjugating verbs, etc. Much of it is rote memorization, and actual conversational English comes later. But all the teachers I spoke with were very good conversationalists, and it was a real pleasure getting to know them.

Here is a picture of all of us, including the family from Cincinnati, the school director, and some of the young English teachers, taken in the computer lab. In the front row you can see Maddie, Perrie, Hannah, and Steven (the son of the man who works for GE).

WE JUST WANT A BEER PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 22, 2009

One interesting thing happened during our short stay in the city of FuZhou, LinChuan District. Our travel companions Marilyn and her two daughters Maddie and Caitlin had to leave for NanChang on the evening of June 23, and from there go up to BeiJing to do some sightseeing. Our last evening with the Cleeff family was June 22, even though we would spend most of the day on the 23rd with them.

This is the view from our window in the LinChuan Hotel...I'm not sure what the billboard was advertising.

For our last night together Marilyn suggested we adults go downstairs for a farewell beer. Unfortunately, I was still suffering from some sort of water or food borne illness, and I wasn't up to drinking a beer.

So my husband Paul and Marilyn decided to have a beer together on our last evening together. Stop One...the hotel lobby. They asked the night clerk (it was only 7:00 pm) where they could get a beer. Sorry, no one spoke English. Being adventurous, the two travelers went down to the first floor restaurant which was still open. "Can we get a beer here" asked Marilyn. No one spoke English. So Paul and Marilyn

pantomimed drinking and used the word TsingTao, a popular brand of Chinese beer. No beer at the restaurant. But Paul and Marilyn spotted a hair salon on the same floor as the restaurant, and there were many young people hanging out, so maybe someone spoke English.

Again they pantomimed drinking beer, again they used the word TsingTao. Apparently they are not good mimes, because Paul was ushered into the salon where a girl attempted to trim his mustache.

OK, there was a karoake club in the hotel basement....surely beer would be served. Down to the lower level, and more miming of beer drinking, more name dropping (TsingTao). Eyebrows were raised and Paul and Marilyn were ushered into to a room with a lock on the door.....an offer was made to seat them in the very private room. Around them were similar rooms, and the lobby was filled with young ladies who sat around on a sofa waiting for something/someone....clients????

No thank you, this didn't seem like a good idea. By now both Paul and Marilyn were wondering if they would ever find a place for a farewell beer.

They headed across the street to another karaoke club, one we had noticed earlier in the day. However, once more they were ushered to a private room at the back---the room was equipped with a large sofa, a table, and a TV/karaoke set-up. It wasn't what they wanted, and in a final attempt Marilyn said rather snappishly "We just want a BEER....is there someplace where we can just DRINK A BEER??????"

No, apparently not. They came back to the hotel room, beerless, and frustrated.

We never got a satisfactory answer regarding the lovely young ladies sitting around the sofas apparently waiting for something/someone.

Interestingly, when our daughters told our guide Coby that they wanted to have a massage (it is listed in the guestbook as an amenity), he told them they didn't want the kind of massage offered at our hotel. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

One other interesting thing about our hotel: In the bathroom there were packages of "romantic" supplies sitting on the counter. Of course it was my 16 year old daughter who found the "vibrating condom" package. And it wasn't bad enough that she found it, but she pilfered it and took it with her when we checked out.

We had checked out of the LinChuan Hotel and paid our bill, when the maids went upstairs to check the mini-bar and make sure we didn't owe any additional charges. We were already in the van when our guide Coby came running out and said "they want to charge you for some ......uh......hygiene supplies you took from the bathroom". What hygiene supplies?? "Oh Mom, I bet they mean the vibrating condoms.....I took them to show my friends....you know, as a souvenir". It was too late to fish them out of Perrie's luggage, so we paid the extra charge for her "souvenir".

OUR HOME IS ALWAYS OPEN TO YOU

On Tuesday, June 23, we had the morning to ourselves. Hannah, Perrie, and Paul went shopping, while I rested (I still have "the bug") Perrie bought a dress, very cute, which came with a coupon for a free manicure and set of nails. So did Hannah.


Hannah had her nails done, white with red "rubies". Perrie put off her manicure until the next day as time was running short.

This is Hannah's foster brother LongLong, her foster mom JinQin, and her foster dad (I can't remember his first name) with Hannah in their home, decorated with red good luck ornaments to welcome us

Our driver took us to the family home of Hannah's foster family. We were able to sit in a relaxing atmosphere and ask questions we normally just wouldn't have time to ask or might not think of. Hannah was the first baby that JinQin fostered. But it was her husband who made Hannah's breakfast of congee and steamed egg in the morning before he left for work, and he was the person who held her and fed her. That surprised us.We asked why Hannah had such strong little legs when we adopted her, and foster dad demonstrated how he would bounce her on his knees so that she could push upward using her thighs. He also said that it was very difficult for his wife to be a foster mom. After Hannah left JinQin cried for weeks, he told us. Eventually JinQin fostered a total of five babies. The last baby was in 2005, and she was adopted by a family from Spain. JinQin is sad because she has not heard from that family. After that, her husband said "no more" because it upset her too much when the babies left for their new homes.

Hannah's foster brother LongLong is now 21 years old. He briefly attended university, but didn't like to study, so he dropped out In China, if you do not attend university you must donate two years to military service. So he put in his two years of service and came home, but he still did not want to attend university. So he moved to Guangzhou where he now works at a factory owned by his paternal aunt and uncle. Kids......they have a mind of their own everywhere!!!


JinQin got out a large framed family photograph showing her entire family....Hannah's response was "dang, I have a BIG family". We are a small family in the US, but in China Hannah has 7 aunts and uncles, plus two grandmothers, and one grandfather (sadly her other grandfather passed away earlier this year). The parents of Hannah's foster family predate China's current family planning program, though her foster family does fall under family planning and they had only one child, a son. JinQin is about 48 years old and looks very well, as does Hannah's foster father and her foster uncle (the Vice-director of the SWI).


After we finished looking at the family portrait, JinQin disappeared for a moment into the bedroom, then brought out a gift for Hannah....a beautiful strand of white lake pearls. JiangXi Province is quite well-known for pearls, and these are really pretty. Hannah immediately wore the necklace....she has not taken it off yet.JinQin's apartment is very nice....she has all the same amenities that one would expect in an apartment.....we saw that her bedroom even has a private balcony overlooking a small courtyard. Photos that we have sent her are prominently displayed throughout the home, as are photos from other families whose baby she once took care of. I really do not know if all foster families become as emotionally involved as JinQin, but it is understandable to me that she stopped providing foster care as the emotional toll was too much for her. After our visit in their home, we invited JinQin and her family to be our guests at a local restaurant for dinner.







Mama Yi (First Mama), Hannah, and Mama Er (Second Mama-Me) at the restaurant in FuZhou.


Hannah's foster brother LongLong and her foster father made a toast in her honor at the restaurant.





Following another great dinner we walked across the parking lot to a small park where lots of ladies were doing dance exercise to music booming from a giant screen TV set up at the front of the park. I couldn't help myself....I watched the dancers....it was just like ballroom dancing without a partner. So I moved into the crowd and danced a bit. I tried to get JinQin to join me but she said she did not know the dance steps.....neither did I, but that didn't stop me! The kids videotaped my dance moves.....strangely I am not nearly as graceful on tape as I imagined myself to be!

That's me trying to do the exercise dancing with the local people in FuZhou ---look at the lady behind me with her hands on her hips....apparently she didn't appreciate my attempt to join in!!



Finally we said goodbye. JinQin asked Hannah to learn some Chinese, and she advised LongLong to learn some English. Then she suggested Hannah come back and between the two of them the family could communicate. The family told us they were honored that we came all the way from America to see them, and they specifically told Hannah that their home is HER HOME, and that it will always be open to her. They said she is part of the family....I could see how proud Hannah was to hear those words.The entire trip was worth it just for that moment.Cathy

Hannah's entire family--foster Dad, foster brother, Paul, Jin-Qin (foster mom), Hannah, Cathy, and Perrie

WELCOME HOME FU YUN AND FU JIA HUA

June 22, 2009

On Monday, June 22, our driver pulled up in front of a large white building with huge green glass walls. Our translator didn't need to tell me we had arrived at the FuZhou Social Welfare Institute. I recoginzed it from numerous pictures I had seen.We were allowed inside and directed to a second floor conference room. The table was set with fresh fruit, red decorations were hung throughout, and on one wall were two huge banners with white writing against a red background. WELCOME HOME FU YUN was for my daughter, and WELCOME HOME FU JIA HUA was for Madeline Cleeff. The girls really were "home".

Vice Director Zhou You Ping and Director of Children's Services Miss Lu came and met with us. The original paperwork from 1995 was spread out on the table and we were allowed to ask for any clarifications. Although the staff was very helpfu, there really was nothing new to learn because back in 1995 when Hannah and Madeline were born, not much paperwork was prepared. Today there is often more detailed descriptions of what the chiild was wearing, where she was found, and a copy of the finding ad from the newspaper is kept in the child's folder. Hannah and Madeline have none of that in their folders.

Suddenly, in walked Zhou JinQin, Hannah's foster mother, followed by her husband and her son. I was the first one up out of my seat...I ran across the room and we embraced. Then Hannah came over and there were more hugs. Hannah does not cry easily, but tears were flowing down her face as she saw her Mama Yi, as we call her (First Mother).We brought gifts for the Vice Director and the Children's Services Director, and we also acted as courier for two families who have a child referral from FuZhou. One family has not yet received permission to travel, and the other family adopted their daughter several years ago but want to send a gift to the nanny. First I gave the gift for Fu Yan Cong. Vice Director Zhou asked me who she was and I explained that she is a FuZhou baby waiting for her American family, and that I brought a gift from the American adoptive family. I then repeated this process for the Headrick family from Louisiana who had sent a gift to their adopted daughter's former nanny. Honestly, Vice Director Zhou and Miss Lu were not familiar with the names of the children or the nanny...they are administrators, not caretakers. I wanted to find out if Fu Yan Cong lived at FuZhou or lived with a foster family, so I asked that question, The answer was "some childre live at the SWI, and some live in town with foster families". In other words no one knew off-hand where the girls lived, and no one was inclined to go look up that information. I was disappointed. Originally we had been told we could volunteer at the SWI, but due to concerns about the H1N1, no foreigners are allowed into the children's area. Again, I was disappointed, though I totally understood the need to keep the babies safe.

Eventually it was decided that we would go to a local restaurant and enjoy a dinner in honor of this occasion. When we got back to ground floor, there was yet another surprise....Hannah's foster Grandmother, foster aunt, and foster nephew were all waiting for her. More hugs, more tears.Dinner was delicious, but I hardly noticed what I was eating, I was so focused on Hannah and her foster family. She was obviously very happy, and also very shy. I asked our translator to explain that she was shy sometimes so that they didn't think she was ignoring them or being rude.After dinner we drove the Vice Director and Miss Lu back to FuZhou SWI, and Hannah's foster family also got out of the van since they live near the SWI. We promised to meet again the next day. Then we drove to our hotel. Marilyn and her kids left around 4:00 p.m. for NanChang where they had to catch a late flight to BeiJing. I took more Advil, more Pepto, and drank some fluids., I slept for the rest of the day and night. My family went to the local mall (where else do you go with teenage girls?) while I tried to shake this bug I have. Unfortunately I am still sick, and spent most of last night in the bathroom again. The only bright spot is that so far I have lost 4 pounds.More later,Cathy=============

HALF-WAY THROUGH OUR TRIP

Our guide Coby, Perrie, and Cathy in LuShan.

Land of Mist and Cloud

June 21, 2009

We are at the half-way mark in our trip, and I wish I had been able to journal about everything that has happened here. Of course I can't to that, so I'll mention a few things that I haven't talked about. The agency that is handling our travel is Always and Forever Adoption Homeland Tours, headed by Michael Han. Michael used to be an adoption facilitator, I believe, and he is sensitive to the issues that returning families face. He will create a trip just for your family (as in our case), or you can participate in one of many tours that are offered.

Paul is ready to board our van/bus for the trip down the mountain.

My daughter Hannah was born in JiangXi Province, so we asked Michael to create a trip that was based right here in the place where Hannah was born, and where she would have grown up if things had been different. JiangXi Province is hot and humid at this time of year, but our guide understands that we are not used to this kind of weather, and he provided us with lovely air-conditioned vans and buses everywhere we went.

If you are going to undertake a trip like this, it really helps if you have travel companions with whom to share the ups and downs. Another family who is similar in personality to you sure helps In this regard we have been blessed to travel with Marilyn Cleeff and her two daughters. I a feeling a bit down because this is our last day with them.....late this afternoon they will leave for BeiJing, while we will finish the last five days of our tour right here in JiangXi. I will miss them terribly.Marilyn is my age (we are 57 and 58), and she has the kiind of easy-going personality that makes it a joy to be around her. There have been times when we laughed until we doubled over and had tears streaming down our cheeks.

Cathy and Marilyn taking a break.

In the small town of KuLing the traffic is wild....crossing the street means watching for a break in traffic and running for your life. I was momentarily distracted and I missed it when the rest of the group crossed the street. When I looked up and saw them on the other side I started forward to join them, then saw a car barreling toward me. I was so startled that I shouted "Oh SHIT" and sort of sprinted across the street, ending up in the midst of my travel mates, who were as surprised as I was to hear that expletive in China. We all burst out laughing so hard, the local people stared at us and must have thought we were crazy.

On another occasion Marilyn came into our hotel room with an infected splinter in the sole of her foot. Paul performed "surgery" on her with hand sanitizer, a pocket knife, and a tweezer, and he got the splinter out, but it was still painful. So that evening we walked to town for dinner and poor Marilyn was limping along, and then a blister on my toe burst open and seeped fluid onto my sandal, and I started limping. Our teenage daughters stared at us and rolled their eyes.....which made me and Marilyn start to laugh again, and we hobbled around town referring to ourselves as "the Gimps". Like I said, your travel companions make all the difference.

Last night I got so sick....I was running a fever, aching all over, and of course I had the worst diarrhea. I don't know what I ate or draink, but Marilyn came to my rescue. She shared her Cipro with me, and offered to give me the whole bottle. After an awful night, I am feeling somewhat better this morning.

Before I got so sick, we ate at the FuZhou City/LinChuan KFC....we were hungry for Western food, and the greasy, salty chicken tasted so good, not to mention the fries and ketchup. Funny thing: There was a little boy wearing the traditional Chinese split pants, and his mom just stood him up right in KFC, whereupon he peed all over the floor. Apparently this is fairly common, and out came the mop and bucket brigade to clean up the floor. Now you don't see that every day.

FuZhou is the city where my daugher was found, so we are staying here for three days. Today we will meet with the orphanage vice director and the director of children's services from the FuZhou Social Welfare Institute. We brought gifts from home for them, and we will be taking them out to lunch. We originally had been told we could go inside the orphanage, but due to concern about the H1N1 flu, we will not be allowed inside....we can only look at the building from outside.It's time to go, so I'll tell you about our visit with the SWI staff when we get back.Cathy========